Another season has officially begun at Jitterbug Theatre Productions. This year, I’ll be costuming Willy Wonka, Jr., which has me singing “What you Wonk-Wonk-Wonk is what I Wonk-Wonk-Wonk. Give it to me, baby, like Oomp-Loomp-Loomp!” Thanks, Rihanna.

Day One of auditions were held yesterday. Because my job mostly entails my being hunched over a sewing machine and hot glue guns in the solitude of my apartment, I leapt at the chance to be in a more social environment — so I volunteered to help out. Because our director, Erin, is my lady soulmate, I was chosen to act as Director’s Assistant…which means I would be the only person (other than her) to be present for each child’s audition.

Let me tell you something. When I was in fourth grade, I auditioned for The Wizard of Oz. I should tell you upfront that I have stage fright and cannot sing, so I have no idea why I was so compelled to try out. I guess I just felt I was destined to play a munchkin or flying monkey. Let’s face it, I still feel that way. Well, needless to say, I was rejected. (I would come to find out just this July that my mom called and chewed out the director, who was a high school student at the time. Now, this director — who is close friends with Erin — works on Broadway in NYC, and he totally remembers me because of my cool stage mom.)

This is all to say that I identified with the kids who were auditioning. Well, not the great ones. I don’t relate to the ones with talent and presence. But the real kids. The ones that stammered and were pitchy and were too nervous to think of anything to say when we asked them to tell a story about their day. Every time they sang a little too fast or switched words around in their reading, they’d look up, and I would smile at them. I smiled to encourage them to continue. I smiled to tell them it was alright. I smiled because kids need smiles in times like these. Sometimes, I wouldn’t be handing them a Call-Back letter at the end…but I’d always tell them they did a great job. And they did. I don’t have the gaul to do what they just did, and that’s why I’m hunched over a sewing machine and hot glue guns in the solitude of my apartment instead of shooting for a spotlight. These kids, the ones like me who weren’t called back, they really inspire me, and I hope that enough people smiled at them to make them want to come back next year.

Also, can I just tell you that I didn’t expect many kids to show up for auditions today because it was their first day of school? Because I didn’t. Yet, I witnessed 105 children try out today. ONE HUNDRED AND FIVE CHILDREN. And more came. We had to ask them to come back tomorrow because we were already an hour past our time slot. If you didn’t pick up what I’m puttin’ down…I’m telling you that Jitterbug Theatre is a big deal. We are a BIG frickin’ deal.

I’m also puttin’ down that I had to hear the Oompa Loompa Song for Veruca Salt a minimum of 147 times: 105 times for solos and a minimum of 2 times per group singing (we saw them in groups of 5). The song is above for your listening torture pleasure.

Siiigh, see some of you kids at Call-Backs on Thursday! Break some legs.