“12-23,-94  Dear Diary, I still like Chip. Maria’s at my house. We are making a play, called Girls got The Talet. I’m Megan. Maria is Kelly. We’re ar going to publish it. Maria Wojciechowski is my wgirlfriend, We’re Not gaywods!”

Step right up and witness the controversial pages of my childhood diary! First, there’s obvious betrayal when Chip (who has a freak arm mutation) is caught ogling Katie at the pool party. I can’t say I really blame him, though…have you SEEN her sexy, defined butt crack?!  

On top of all the lust and lies, I make a bold political faux pas by letting it slip that Maria and I are not gaywads. But, clearly my feelings for her are strong since I can’t spell ‘talent’ but can flawlessly write out all thirteen letters of her Polish last name.

Could the plot thicken any further? I guess you’ll just have to find out…TOMORROW!