I’ve never been kissed at midnight on New Year’s, but it’s definitely on my list of things to do (right next to learning the Thriller dance). My problem is that a meaningless kiss simply will not do. So, I guess this means that 2010 is not my year.

Sometimes I wonder if I should be like most girls my age. Should I go out and have carefree, unadulterated, flirtatious fun? Kiss boys merely because they’re cute? Should I stay out late and loosen my morals?

I find this way of life making sense to me sometimes, and I get tempted to try it out. When it comes down to it, though, I can never bring myself to it. I guess I just wouldn’t feel good about it all unless it meant more.

Moreover, I definitely am never able to be coquettish if I have a silly little bit of hope pertaining to a particular boy. A connection, an inexplicable closeness, a desire for knowing more… It’s worth so much more than briefly exciting physicality.

So, tonight I’ll have my own boring brand of fun. Maybe 2011 will give me more.