‘Twas Harry Potter Weekend on ABC Family a few days ago, and I made sure to indulge. As I was getting pumped about the start of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (one of my favorites), my gears shifted, and I was headed into perturbed territory.

Excuse me. EXCUSE ME. Is that Harry Potter, just a mere soon-to-be Third Year, hiding under his sheets at Number 4 Privet Drive…doing MAGIC?! Yes, I believe he’s performing a lumos maxima charm to light up his wand to read. Tsk, tsk. The Ministry of Magic will have his wand for doing Underage Magic — in a muggle house especially!

I mean, really, if they would give him Strike One for Underage Magic due to an incident incited by Dobby, not Potter, then why are they letting this spell slide? Hmmm? They wouldn’t.

My apologies to all the cool people out there who had to visit Dork Town, but it had to be said.