Do you recall the Sex and The City episode that revealed Secret Single Behavior? You know, Carrie stacked saltines and stood in the kitchen eating them while Charlotte enjoyed peering into her magnifying mirror and examining every single pore. I can’t remember Miranda’s, and — of course — Samantha had nothing she wouldn’t do in front of a member of the opposite sex.

Well, it’s always a mini-bummer when you wake up and all you have next to you is a dog with a full bladder. You wish the boyfriend didn’t really have to go home. You wish that every morning was a cuddle morning. Yet, secretly, it’s awesome to just be by yourself.

Being by myself is something I’ve never done, actually. Obviously, I’ve lived with my parents from birth through high school. I had two roommates in college. I moved back home and basically immediately in with a guy for two and a half years. I was definitely lacking independence and solitariness.

So, here I am, living all alone for the very first time in my life. Baseball bat stationed next to the bed. Loud dog at my feet. Two deadbolts on the door. I thought I would be terrified or, at the very least, lonely. I had to remind myself of the list I read somewhere…the one about However Many Things To Do Before You Get Married. Something to that effect. Well, live alone for a year was on that list, so I figured it would be a good idea to try it out.

So, here we come to the Secret Single Behavior. I have several, and they’re really fun.

The other day, I washed my hair and then proceeded to make it a goal to dry it only by dancing. iTunes shuffled, my abs ached, my legs were sore, I was breathing heavily…but my hair was dry.

I like to swear loudly while playing Mario Kart and Sonic the Hedgehog on the Wii.

I like to put on various facial masks and watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Yes, I own all seven seasons on DVD, and I’m proud.

I like to make lip dub music videos then either delete them or hide them in a secret file on my computer. I’m really, really good at it, by the way.

I like to dip every stocked grocery into sour cream and eat it.

Hopefully, one day, I will venture to do these things with a boy who will award me Cute Points for this madness. One day, my kids will be bebopping to Madonna and Beyoncè with mud masks while eating artichoke hearts topped with sour cream…and yeah, we’ll be recording it for our lip dub. 

Do you have an SSB?