My six year-old nephew, Andrew, decided to open his own in-room massage therapy business. Who am I to complain? 

These are some of the things that were said to me during my rubs:

“I’ll give you forty squeezes — that’s the special I’m running for girls. Boys only get thirty.”

“I can do this every night for you. I’m always available.”

“If you get two more rubs, you’ll get one free.”

“I will now give you the special surprise massage, but first I must get the secret object!”

After rubbing my feet:
“That rub is only available two more times because it takes too much pressure.”

“Well, okay, have a great night!”



Needless to say, I tipped him an entire dollar for his services.