Dear Bradley Cooper,

I knew you were fairly handsome before, but then I saw The Hangover. With a busted lip, bloody shirt, and a tiger-clawed neck…well…I swooned. Plus, you were wearing a vest in your first scene — a VEST. Okay, I know all of those things are movie-specific and not you-specific. However, you completely made me reconsider the flaxen male. I’ve always been a sucker for dark curls and big, brown eyes, but there is just an undeniable hotness to you…maybe even a hottness or hotttness.

Well, in case you’re into twenty-two year old blondes, I thought I would propose a date. Just one date…to see how it goes. Why should you date me and not some super celebrity?

- I can get ready in under 10 minutes for any event.
- I prefer to drive with the windows down. My hair looks better messy.
- I’m frugal! Everyone loves a cheap date.
- I will air-guitar and sing (poorly) during all car rides.
- I’m a great listener — especially if you’re talking about your childhood.
- I will scratch your back as often as you’d like.
- I eat real food, and it’s no secret that I enjoy it.
- I enjoy cooking…in case you want to stay in.
- I like to play catch in the yard. Or soccer. Or volleyball. Or tennis.
- I don’t notice other boys.
- If you’re writing something, I can help you edit it.
- I will twirl your hair while we watch TV. 

I’ve got even more than that. So, take a chance on an unknown. You won’t regret it!

Here’s hoping,
Alexi