February 2012
25 posts
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Help Me, Obi Wan Kenobi; You're My Only Hope.
PROBLEM: We just got a king sized bed because there are three big creatures sharing the same space, and we all take turns being annoyed that we are being touched. AND I CANNOT FIND A COMFORTER/QUILT THAT I LIKE. Yes, this is a real problem in my world. This is my current quilt (and demon eyed dog), which I like a lot: I got that sucka from World Market in, like, 2009. It’s bright,...
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Things I Sing About My Dog
- “Kav’s beauty and she’s grace! She’s Miss United States!” - Every other song ever with “dog” or “Káva” replacing all the nouns.
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WatchFor the last two days, Káva’s best friend has been an old, gnarled lemon.
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Wedding Crap
We finally set a date and location! …or did we?
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How You Know Your Fiancé Was Always Meant to Be an...
Childhood Video of Christmas #1: R (age 3): SCOTCH TAPE!!! Three packages!!! Childhood Video of Christmas #2: R (age 5): A plunger?! IT’S JUST WHAT I ASKED FOR!!!!
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Whatever, I'm Funny.
Ram: i saw a girl i thought was you Ram: but then she stood up and was of regular height
Me: goddamn it
Me: i want to be where the people are, i want to see, want to see their head tops! strolling around with their, what’s that word again? long legs!
Me: up where they walk, up where they run, up where they see all the things on the top shelf!
Ram: shut up
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darcibastiaan asked: Hi, Dr. Crane, it's Andres, calling from Mexico City. Well, I have this friend, who is getting married, and I was wondering if you could tell me how things are going. Her name is Alexi. I'm sure you remember her. You met each other at Niles' Halloween party, remember? He was wearing the Cyrano de Bergerac costume, she went as Lucrezia... I'm sure you remember. Anyway, Dr....
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Something to Consider
“On a somewhat serious note today because of a conversation the other day: I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child, coming home and telling their parents, uncle, aunt or grandparent about a boy who had pulled her hair, hit her, teased her, pushed her or committed some other playground crime. I will bet money that most of those, if not all, will tell you that they were told “Oh,...
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Skin Care Products
So the makers of Proactiv came out with a new product called the Dark Spot Corrector. In the commercial, the announcer keeps saying it will remove dark marks, and this is all I can think about:
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Laaame
Nothing makes you feel lamer than when you’re 25 years old, and you cannot hang with the people who are still partying at 1am without nearly falling asleep then excusing yourself early. Especially when those party people are your grandparents.
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