March 2010
17 posts
10 tags
March Madness!
This is actually how I spend my time.   Click for larger view. 
Mar 22nd
12 notes
Mom and Technology
Matt: There’s parking off-site. Mom: You better email a blog to see if it’s safe.
Mar 22nd
6 tags
Text Messages with...Ashley?
Ashley wanted in on the greatest debate of all time. Ashley: Ross had a creepy growth. I think that’s a big point on the chan man’s side. Me: Is someone forgetting third nipple? Ashley: Bah! At least docs knew what that was. Me: At least ROSS IS JEWISH. You and Allys seem to be turning your backs on our Jew lust.  Ashley: Pffft. Other Arguments in The Ross/Chandler Collection: Volume...
Mar 20th
Fact: You Can Scare Away Hiccups
I awoke this morning to the sound of my dog hiccuping. These were rapid-succession style, and I got a little maternally worried about it. So, Morning Alexi lifted her heavy head off the pillow and looked at Kava with one eye. Her hiccups ceased immediately. Conclusion: God bless the man who marries me.
Mar 18th
2 notes
Mar 17th
Every Man For Himself
Daily, I take on a challenge that could potentially ruin…my shoes. Yes, living in an apartment complex accommodating a large percentage of lazy good-for-nothings and hypocrites surprisingly has its disadvantages. My favorite of the unsavory misdeeds is the leaving dog crap everywhere, though bags and waste bins are in very convenient locations.  I’ll admit there have been a few times...
Mar 16th
1 note
6 tags
Old-Fashioned Serial Killer Romance
The boy and I do quite a lot of conversing by mail, considering it’s 2010. A week or so ago, I sent him a cryptogram on some stationery. The above is what I received today. He always finds a way to one-up me. Here, he’s combined my love of cryptograms with my love of postcards with my love of old paintings. The art of wooing has certainly not died, as I had previously thought. Plus,...
Mar 13th
Observations on Desire
nogreatillusion: “I fall in love with men who know how to describe women. Certain men are bowled over by the details - chipped nail polish, sly grins. I once heard a boy call a girl “a darling” in the most sincere, admiring way. “She was old-fashioned,” he said. I’ve wanted to be a darling ever since. I want him to be able to describe me when I’m gone. Even if the description is tinted by...
Mar 12th
31 notes
7 tags
Q & A with Mama Lex
Do you still paint/draw/create? Haven’t seen anything from you in a while. I know! I haven’t done any leisurely stuff since April 2009, and that’s sort of ridiculous. My pal, Allyson, and I were just discussing how we don’t do anything anymore. The only things I’ve done lately were props and costumes for the children’s theatre company I help out, and that...
Mar 11th
1 note
GPOYW:KKE
GPOYW:KKE Gratuitous Picture of Yourself Wednesday: Kunta Kinte Edition The title is apt, you see, because I have roots. So, kiss them goodbye; I have a date with some scissors and highlights. I have to look good for my pilgrimage to Jeff, you know.
Mar 10th
Note to Self
Please try to remember to throw yourself a 40th birthday party in 2026 and have it UB40 themed. You can listen to “Red, Red Wine” all night and watch people try to figure out the genius behind it all. Note to dummies: It’s genius because it’s UB40, and I’ll be 40.
Mar 10th
3 notes
Things Only 3 People Want to Know
How many times have you fallen in love? Being the eternal optimist when it comes to romance, I used to think I was always in love. Looking realistically at my past and present, I feel confident saying I’ve fallen in love twice. Once, it ended badly. The second time, well, I’m loving every minute of it. :) the perfect plain, nude shoes are at target. i literally pulled out my phone to...
Mar 9th
Oh, Mom...
Mom attempts a joke utilizing Jeff’s Jewish background. Me: Do you think his mom will like me? Mom: Yeah, she’ll like you…even though you’re a shitska. Me: You mean shiksa? Mom: No, I meant shitska.
Mar 7th
1 note
Reasons I Know.
Pepperoncini Earlobes Beautiful Ls Aligned goals Faith Heritage Compulsions Openness Toyota Artsy fartsy Trust Postcards Coffee shops Attraction Pets Everything And when I say everything, I certainly don’t mean nothing.
Mar 6th
Dogs...What Else?
Kava and Savannah have new collars! I was being a complete Facebook creep and saw that my college roommate and long-distance BFF, Nikkie, recommended a great Etsy store to her sister, Shellie, that specializes in cutesy-wootsy dog collars. So, asking permission to steal their Etsy findings first, I swooped in and ordered these handmade felt florals: (Thank heavens I’m going to get some...
Mar 5th
1 note
7 tags
Distraction From Ranting
Which one of your friend’s boyfriend/husbands (current or past) have you found to be the most attractive? I sincerely hope this is being asked by Matt or Sean (the husbands of my dear Ashley and Kendra, respectively). Alas, I doubt this is the case. I’ll try to be honest here, but I’m sort of at a loss. I tend to look at friends’ partners as off-the-market types....
Mar 3rd
It's Miley!
So, this just happened. I was considering making cupcakes tomorrow, but then I remembered that I could just go buy a peanut butter pie from The Oyster House. So there I was, thinking, Pie or cake? Then, I suddenly realized I could actually have both. Immediately thereafter, I belted out, “You get the BEESSSSSST of both worlds!” I’ve got to take a break from babysitting. And from...
Mar 1st
3 notes