January 2010
35 posts
Text Messages with Allyson
The saga continues… Allyson: HA! Ross just said he doesn’t like ice cream! Me: Chandler…can’t cry! Allyson: But then he did! Me: Frick. I was hoping you forgot. Allyson: Neva!
Sorry, No C.O.D.s
I’ve done it. I’ve really done it. I found my get-rich-quick scheme. Are you ready to have your mind blown? I’m inventing an alarm clock that sounds like your dog is about to barf. If you’re like me, you have four alarms set every morning, and you ignore each and every one of them. You end up getting up way too late, and your boss doesn’t like it. However, you could...
Dear Diary, Chapter Five
“Nov. 8, 1995 [continued from previous page] group. Here’s the best news ever! Bradley likes me, and I like him! Bradley likes me, and I like him! Bradley likes me, and I like him! Today I played B.B. (Bradley) in soccer today. We lost. They won. 3-1. I had a B.B. day!! :) Luv, Alexi” The inevitable moving on that occurred in third grade… Please, let’s have a...
Dear Diary, Chapter Four
Dream Alexi: I don’t! Chip: What? Oh, Chip. You should have kept your eyes to yourself at the pool party. Here you are at the altar wearing your Just Married t-shirt and embroidered shorts, and I shut you down. I’m even wearing my formal high-top sneakers so I can high-tail it out of there.
Dear Diary, Chapter Three
“12-23,-94 Dear Diary, I still like Chip. Maria’s at my house. We are making a play, called Girls got The Talet. I’m Megan. Maria is Kelly. We’re ar going to publish it. Maria Wojciechowski is my wgirlfriend, We’re Not gaywods!” Step right up and witness the controversial pages of my childhood diary! First, there’s obvious betrayal when Chip (who has a...
Dear Diary, Chapter Two
“June 24, 94, Today I went to Carey Deckle’s house, and I brout my ROLLER BLADES. and she lives by Christ the King, the school I go to. And we In-line skated threw the whole intire school. and Then we went to the Loion King. MY MOM took us. The end. // June 24, 94 Journal I TAKE TENNIS NOW!!!!!!!!” I hope you’re enjoying the choice capitalized words as much as I am. I...
Dear Diary, Chapter One
Allow me to start by admitting that I can only say “Chapter One” like Elvis Costello does. You know what I’m talking about. Now that that’s out of the way, I can inform you that I was asked how I was like as a child today. Unbeknownst to the asker, that is my favorite topic of discussion: childhoods, and particularly my own (as I am an expert). So, I gave him the quick...
Surprise Smile Friday
Usually, I hate surprises. I do. I can’t keep them secret, and if they’re happening to me, the anxiety of being surprised lives on with me for a day or two. Today, I got a surprise. After the initial ten-minute shock, things went to a non-anxious place for once. It’s somehow warmer and sunnier outside. Everyone is a little more dear to me. The jokes and pictures on everyone...
In Summary...
Desperate HouseLex
That’s right, Hulu has grasped me in its evil, bloody talons and has thrown me into the very sticky web of Desperate Housewives. So, inspired by my new weakness, I’ve thrown together a short list of household things that have been on my mind lately. 1. Melatonin. Are you having trouble sleeping? I personally have had major issues with having a decent bedtime since I was an...
An Old-Fashioned Gushin'
Not everything I don’t wish to disclose to people I know is gross, weird, or mean. Sometimes, I don’t want to tell people the best things that happen to me. I hate to brag (not true) and I hate to give off the image that all I am is a sap (which is actually pretty accurate). However, here goes nothin’. Once upon a Tuesday, in a faraway land, was a prince. This prince had just gotten his foot in...
This is Satire.
Happy Robert E. Lee Day, everyone! Today is a perfect day to concentrate on differences and the unwillingness to change. Personally, I’m a huge fan of the states’ rights in the Kentucky Resolutions, especially in regards to free labor; though, I do tend to leave out the ”all men are created equal” bit Jefferson threw in there just so he didn’t make enemies with those...
Lunar
I just realized that my name is Alexi Eileen, and my birthday is August eighteenth. I instantly found it poetic to have A and E be so integral to my being.
Insanity is Genetic
Me: Mom...
Mom: Who's "mom"?
Me: What?
Mom: MUAHHAHAHAHAHA!
Miss Gorighry!
Last night, I curled into bed with my MacBook and a movie. I always love the intimacy of having a movie playing on a small screen inches from you in your puffed-up bed littered with pillows. Kava rested her head on my left shoulder as I popped in Breakfast at Tiffany’s for the hundredth time. It makes me so sad to see that this movie has gotten “trite and contrived” status...
Wireless Monikers
In my apartment complex, there are many wireless networks that show up in my AirPort. Most of my neighbors have stuck with the boring names for their network that AT&T imparts on them (e.g., 2WIRE806). Some of the more exciting people have renamed their accounts; Mine, for example, is called Anyanka (can I get a “what what” from the Buffy fans?!). Other accounts include...
GPOYW
GPOYW:DVECE Gratuitous Photo of Yourself Wednesday: Darth Vaders Eating Cake Edition This GPOYW is a special one. It is officially dedicated to Ashley, who I begrudgingly find hundreds of miles away from me. If memory serves, this photo was taken at the Coffee Loft on her 20th birthday in 2005. We decided it should have a Darth Vader theme, so there you go. On top of this and the small ashtray...
A Forwarded Conversation
My mom just forwarded me an email conversation, and I just had to laugh. My whole life has been spent saying, “Mom, it’s not like that.” “Mom, don’t tell people that.” “Mom, oh my God!” Very Nice Lady: Thanks so much!! I looked at Alexis blog and she is so cool and beautiful. She looks like you!! [My husband] has friends coming in town this weekend,...
Top Six Fictional Crushes
1. Dan Conner, Roseanne. 2. Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 3. Toby Flenderson, The Office. 4. Ross Gellar, Friends. 5. Uncle Jesse, Full House. 6. Neville Longbottom, the Harry Potter series.
Girls
I have to admit that I love us girls. As soon as one of us mentions a new paramour or beau, we all immediately pair the girl’s first name with the boy’s last. We say it a few times. Let it roll around our mouths. Then, we look around — either nodding or shaking our heads — and reveal our opinions on her new, married name. And usually, this all happens within the first month...
Answers, Anyone?
If you were unable to have children naturally would you adopt or opt for fertility treatments?
This is something I don’t really want to have to consider in life. Selfish or not, I always wanted to experience pregnancy and birth. I would love to look at my child and see my husband’s eyes and my smirk. If I was unable to conceive naturally, I would beg and plead to undergo the costly...
Text Messages with Allyson
(True Story, guys. When I was in Chicago once, I saw David Schwimmer. AND WE HAD THE SAME BACKPACK.) Allyson: I wanna marry chandler bing every day! Me: No way! Ross all the time. Me: He’s JEW Allyson: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? He may be jew, but there are SO many better ones! He is NO chandler bing-a-ling! And he has wethead! Me: SHUT YOUR MOUTH! HE LIKES DINOSAURS AND IS NERDY. Go sit outside...
Patience, Y'all
I feel like I’ve been doing a pretty good job figuring things out for myself these past seven months. I definitely feel that I’ve discovered several things about myself and the world that make day-to-day life easier and more peaceful. Then there are the things with which I still struggle. How do you get to the point where you can forgive everything and everyone? How can I get to the...
You Can Probably Handle The Truth
If you were trapped on a desert island, with all the amenities (so that you worried about nothing and wanted for nothing), but were completely alone, would you want to leave? Yes, I would be desperate to leave. I understand what you mean when you say that I would want for nothing, but I have to disagree. The things I would want most would be people and animals. I might enjoy the solitary life for...
Taxes! Eeee!
I think I’m the only person who gets excited about doing her taxes. I always get several hundred dollars back, so you can see why I look forward to it. This year, this brand-new year, I’m living life. I’ve decided to take my return and spend the majority of it on a trip to…somewhere. Of course, the amount returned will dictate the trip. I do have a few places in mind. San...
Text Messages with Allyson
Allyson: Btw, ash and i had 1 o'clock waffle house this morning and i got them to put choc chips AND pecans in my waff. Heavenly hash, I say.
Alexi: I just got some drool on my phone. NBD.
Allyson: I knooooow! I thought about you the whole time.
Alexi: Thank you! I love when people eat carbs dripping with sugar and think of me. I want that in my eulogy.
My True Identity
I have had the same voicemail message since May 2007, and it’s incredibly dull and long-winded. “You have reached Alexi Vrabel with [Real Estate Company]. Please leave a message, and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. You can also reach me at the office by calling…” I can remember it being a bit threatening before that. Something along the lines of...
Answers, Answers Everywhere
What is your first memory? And how old were you? The first truly clear memories I have are both involving my dad. I had to be extremely little, based on the thoughts that were going through my head during the occurences. First, I can remember playing tea party in our old living room, dimly lit by the windows alone. I was playing with my father, and I kept offering him the tea cup. When I did, I...
Treasure Du Jour
My mom always yells at me for going through all the old family photos and stealing. I’ve done this act of thievery since I was a kid, and I don’t think I will ever gain the restraint needed to stop. On display in my apartment, I have photos of both of my grandmothers from when they were under the age of seven. I have photos of my parents together in high school. I have a 1989 picture...
The Aughts, a Retrospective
2000 - I was enrolled in a Catholic school, and I had more best friends than I could count. I was chosen to represent my class in running for Big Field Day in Mobile against the other Catholic schools in our archdiocese. I had never run competitively before, and I surprised myself and most others when I took home the first place ribbon for the fifty meter dash. My mother bought me a pair of brand...
First Batch of Answers
What is your favorite song OF ALL TIME? Caps lock for added emphasis, by the way. Yeah, I’m cool. It’s sort of a tie. “Dream a Little Dream of Me” by Mama Cass Eliot will always be tops. It was a song they played during naptime in kindergarten, and I always looked forward to when it played. As I grew older, the words had more meaning to me; they sort of reflect how I feel...
Q&A
One of my goals for 2010 is to keep on the Honestry Train. I try to be completely honest at all times — no matter how naïve, immature, or silly it makes me seem. I mean, I have no reason to lie, right? So, let me get some more practice in! Ask me any question in the world. Don’t worry; it will be anonymous, and you’re guaranteed full disclosure. If at any time in the future...