September 2009
16 posts
MUSIC AS LIFE “Kodachrome” - Paul...
Font Fun!
In college, my roommate, Nikkie, was assigned a fun project in one of her early graphic design classes. Using only the letters in her name, she had to create a portrait of herself. I remember that it was executed so well; her moles were the dots of carefully placed i’s*, and it charmed my pants off. Since then, I’ve been fascinated by this type of art. See what I did there?...
A Joke, Courtesy of Rob
Q: Why did the cowboy adopt a daschund? A: He wanted to get along, little doggie.
Telemarketer That YOU Call
Derrick: Thanks for calling about your FREE book, Natural Cures They Don't Want You To Know About. This is Derrick; may I have your first name, please?
Me: Hey, Derrick. It's Alexi.
Derrick: Okay. Hi, Alexi. Are you ready to order your free book?
Me: Well, I have some questions.
Derrick: Okay. What can I help you with?
Me: Have you read the book?
Derrick: Um...no. I...just started working here.
Me: You haven't read this book, Derrick?
Derrick: No.
Me: Did they give you a copy?
Derrick: Yes, they did. I just...haven't read it yet.
Me: Did you get it for free?
Derrick: ...yes.
Me: I'm glad you were able to partake in your special offer.
Derrick: ...thanks. Um, so, where are you calling from?
Me: Daphne, Alabama. Daphne like the goddess.
Derrick: Actually, I think she was a demi-god. Hope that doesn't burst your bubble.
Me: Well, specifically she's a nymph, Derrick. But I'm impressed.
Derrick: So where can I send that book?
Me: I don't think I can order a book from an employee that hasn't read it.
Derrick: It's completely free, though, and is full of useful tips that pharmaceutical companies don't want you to know.
Me: Is there shipping and handling?
Derrick: ...yes.
Me: Sorry, Derrick. I wanted the FREE book I was promised. Have a nice night.
Derrick: But...if you order now...
Me: Goodnight.
Christmas in September
Today was the first installment of Christmas in September. Due to the inability to pay off a debt owed to me, I procured a few items in lieu of cash. So, today I got a Nintendo Wii with all the goodies and games, a guitar I bought for said debtor, and a table we made out of an old wine box. Needless to say, I was pretty excited to receive gifts for what I pretend is essentially no reason. The...
New Relationship Indicator
How To Tell If You’re In a New Relationship: You stay at his house for two days, and you do everything in your power not to poop.
Goals, Goals, Goals
When I was a kid, there were a few people in my life that motivated me to try harder. To perform better. To care and grow. One of those people has found his way back into my life, and I refuse to not benefit from it. Someone used to always tell me to determine my goals and outline them in writing. So, if I may, I would like to officially declare my new objectives. 1. LEARN FRENCH. Learning to...
