December 2009
30 posts
New Year...New Ridiculous Hopefulness
I’ve never been kissed at midnight on New Year’s, but it’s definitely on my list of things to do (right next to learning the Thriller dance). My problem is that a meaningless kiss simply will not do. So, I guess this means that 2010 is not my year. Sometimes I wonder if I should be like most girls my age. Should I go out and have carefree, unadulterated, flirtatious fun? Kiss...
Twitter Schmitter
Listen, I can’t stand Twitter. However, I find myself wondering if I should have one just to catalogue my random one and two liners that I really wish I could communicate with the general public. For example:
I just ate my weight in Taco Bell and German chocolate cake. I’ve never been happier. Or felt more like I was smuggling gold bars in my abdomen.
Somedays I wake up so mad...
What I Wore: Grimace Office Fashion
WhatIWore: Grimace Office Fashion
When: Wednesday, December 30, 2009
What: Shirt: Banana Republic, gift from Grandma Skirt: Gap, gift from Mom Tights: Target Booties: Payless
Where: The real estate office
Why: Sometimes I wonder why the Grimace doesn’t hang out with Ronald McDonald anymore. Did they have a falling out? Well, I’m taking the Grimace’s side. He’s...
Oh, Well Then It's Okay
My four year-old niece was coloring with some markers on the floor by my feet...feet that were wearing brand-new, lamb-faced slippers for the very first time.
Me: Oh no! There's marker all over my slipper!
Ava: I love you.
Side note...my dog's tongue was mysteriously blue at about the same exact time.
Wade In The Water
As it is for so many others, I have to split up Christmas into several pieces and traditions. Mom’s Christmas in Alabama is Mission: Accomplished. I scored big with a ton of cooking gear, clothes, and toys for Kava. Today, I will embark on the three hour drive with Kava to the Florida Christmas with my dad. Just a few hours ago, I thoroughly enjoyed the annual reunion with my five (usually...
Christmas Eve Family Dinner
Grandpa: Where's your boyfriend?
Me: I don't have one.
Grandpa: You lost ANOTHER one?!
and then...
Grandma: Brent has such a small nose.
Me: I guess I have the big nose in the family.
Brent: Yeah, you do. Where did that come from anyway?
THESE WERE IN ALL SERIOUSNESS. Bwahaha!
The Great Debate
I just realized that the cards I bought for Christmas are all those that say “Happy Holidays.” This will, without a doubt, cause some of my family members’ panties to promptly rise up, proceed to bunch, and get totally stuck in their butts. “You’re taking the CHRIST out of CHRISTmas!” No, no, no. It’s never my will to stomp over people’s beliefs and...
WatchI hope this Christmas is like last year’s. Last minute wrapping, silly arguments, and wonderful family video clips.
Rodarte for Target!!
This tag was the cause of a lot of anticipation for me these past few weeks. Rodarte released their Target line, and I ran over today to peruse the dainty goods. Feminine, delicate, and reminiscent of the 1950s, I was overwhelmed with girly joy when I finally located the racks. Admittedly, the quality was obviously compromised in order for the garments to adhere to the maximum designer for...
Talkin' 'Bout a Revolution
I’m free. Everything is my option.
Creating Misery 101
As adverse as I usually say I am to love, I can’t help myself from falling into admiration. I mean, I’m always involved with some sort of crush. I guess it’s because I can’t ignore the beauty in certain people. What is that, and can it be stopped? I wasn’t going around looking for anything, and here I am with a fat crush. Again. Well, it’s more of a revival, I...
Chri-mah
So, I did it. I reapplied to college for funzies. In celebration, let’s ogle my festive decorations. A baby fake tree with felt snowflakes makes my heart sing. Please note that, like my old lady alter ego, I have hard candy in an antique crystal dish. This year, I’m wrapping with old Anthropologie catalogues with crudely cut leftover fabric from Jitterbug Theatre’s production...
To Be Continued?
I have big plans for tonight, let me tell you. Said plans involve me, a MacBook, and the Savannah College of Art and Design. I don’t keep it secret that I left college after one year. A lot of people, for whatever reason, look down on this decision. However, it was one of the better decisions I’ve made in my recent life. While I miss so much about the whole experience, I wasn’t...
Small Smile Saturday
There is a friend of mine who I haven’t seen since the last day of my freshman year in college. In fact, that day, he left a bunch of flowers on my car to take with me on my nine hour drive home. We’ve been catching up lately, and he remembered a joke I made — verbatim. I made this joke in 2006. Maybe boys pay attention after all.
Hey, Hey! Gift Day!
I did quite a bit of holiday shopping today, and I was refusing to buy anything for myself. Well, I caved and got two little treats. Please take a gander and share in my excitement. Feast thine eyes upon my new Red Mega Shoes! They’re almost four inches tall, making me of average height. They’re delicious red leather platform pumps that will go perfectly with black tights for my...
Delusional Family
I'm at my mom's house, and an E True Hollywood Story about Hugh Hefner is on. Disclaimer...We're never serious.
Me: I could do that. I could pose for Playboy. I mean, there has to be somebody who likes small boobs.
Mom: Yeah, you should do it! I just don't want to see anything...lower...
Me: But my butt is so cute!
Mom: SO IS MINE! Oh my God. Mother/Daughter butts!
Me: Ew.
Mom: Men are into that.
Cat Scratch Fevuhhh
I tend to predict how my day will go based on the radio. If I’m heading into work, and both of my favorite stations just have commercials on, I’m looking at the world’s worst day. If they are both playing songs that I have no partiality towards, it will be a slightly disappointing day. However, if I don’t even have to change the station after I start the car because the...
Revision
Last night, someone (who, without a doubt, reads my blog with contempt) was commenting to me about why he doesn’t like most of my posts. He was saying that too much of my writing isn’t real; it’s just a real thought revised and combed through so carefully that it’s completely calculated. Whereas his entire analysis isn’t correct, he made an excellent point. Of course...
Au Contraire, Mon Frere!
There is a misconception going around in regards to relationship seekers, and I think I’d like to correct it as much as I can. Males and females alike are getting accused of looking for relationships based on dependency or weakness. In fact, I was recently asked why I needed a boy to validate my life. This is not an unfair question to ask someone; it can make the askee evaluate, think, and...
Disappearance Act
I live in an apartment complex at the end of a road littered with stores. At the entrance to this shopping hot spot today sat a girl about my age with her dog. They both haven’t bathed in a while, and they were both skinnier than I would have liked. The girl was holding the dog with a smile on her face, just talking and petting away. They were behind the sterotypical cardboard sign, but the...
Admission of Illusions
You know, I said “no” the first time R asked me to be his girlfriend. It wasn’t because I didn’t like him. It wasn’t because I foresaw that it wouldn’t work. It was because I wasn’t ready. My last relationship was still an open wound. I had been with K for two and half years — and lived with him for all of that but two months. We were close as close...
Whaaa?
Okay. It’s official. I will never, ever understand boys. Never.
Nerds Only, Please
‘Twas Harry Potter Weekend on ABC Family a few days ago, and I made sure to indulge. As I was getting pumped about the start of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (one of my favorites), my gears shifted, and I was headed into perturbed territory. Excuse me. EXCUSE ME. Is that Harry Potter, just a mere soon-to-be Third Year, hiding under his sheets at Number 4 Privet Drive…doing...
Ran Into This Guy Today...
When I was a kid, I did everything. In addition to being on the soccer, softball, basketball, and volleyball teams, I was also involved in tennis, piano, ballet, pointe, jazz, tap, cheerleading, Girl Scouts, and art lessons. I guess the next logical step was to take golfing instructions. In the summer before seventh grade, my best friend, Anne, and I signed up for lessons at the Grand Hotel in...
Reasons Why AT&T is Crap
AT&T is crap because: - Their internet alone is $42.95/month. - It took them 1.5 weeks to get my internet to work after my pay period began. - They don’t schedule appointments; they just show up at 8am. - They force you to make an AT&T email address that can’t be deleted. - After 2 weeks, my internet will shut off. - They do not have a 24 hour number for DSL assistance. - They...
Tickle-Me-HellNo
I have a horrible, horrible disease. It’s called Toy Snobbery. I can’t stand a toy that does all the kids’ imagining for them. Flashing lights? No. High-pitched dinging songs? Hate. Remote control? Nay, I say! Nay! I admit to being a jerk and a snoot, but I prefer wooden blocks, dolls, dress-up clothes, and art supplies. I want my nephew and niece (and all the other babies that...