October 2009
33 posts
A Halloween Tale
Today is the seven-year anniversary of the time I ran over a cat. My friend, Lindsay, and I were taking advantage of the fact that I could finally drive by trick-or-treating at choice locations (like our Environmental Science/Chemistry teacher’s house). Blasting Sleater-Kinney’s All Hands on the Bad One album, we were speeding, laughing, and singing along. Bu-BUMP! “What was...
I Reckon I'm an Old-Timer Now
Since when am I a “ma’am?” I don’t think I act very ma’am-like. Working with kids is a double-edge sword, I tell you. Half of them think I’m pretty cool…you know…because I drive, don’t have to wear a uniform, etc. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that I work with drama kids and art kids; they’re pretty generous with their compliments. ...
Cell Phone Pictures
There is no reason to keep a cell phone picture unless it has undeniable laughability. Behold! Some of the classics from my personal vault: Do you have Prince Albert in a can? …THEN YOU’D BETTER LET HIM OUT! Warm sentiments from the hired, professional landscaper at the mall. Fistfuls of nuts… Speaking of nuts, this is a golden bag of money. Found it on a church, no less. ...
I Don't Even Know Why This Bugs Me
“Today, I walked into my family room to see my mom watching the video of her marriage to my stepdad, because she wanted to transfer the VCR to a DVD. I got there right in time to watch myself walk down the aisle as the flower girl. Half way down, I dumped out the remaining flower petals in the basket and put the basket on my head. I proceeded to skip the rest of the way down the aisle. Way...
Irish Wrishwash
I have just spent an ungodly amount of time trying to say “Irish wristwatch.” Then I spend even more time genuinely laughing hysterically about it. It’s impossible unless you pronounce it at a glacial pace!
Dawgs!
When you’re dog-sitting for seven days straight, you tend to become a little crazed. I decided to devise an elaborate and serious test to see which dog was more loyal and caring. I proceeded to pretend to trip, fall, roll, and die — a spectacular performace, if I do say so myself — in front of both Kava and Savannah. Kava ran over to me, licked me, nudged me, walked around me...
GPOYW: Overload Edition!
GPOYW: TPBFE Gratuitous Picture of Yourself Wednesday: The Past Becomes Future Edition What, you ask? Well, see that eighteen year-old gal working hard in her high school’s art room? That was me, and that activity will now be repeated every week. Yes, I just got a sweet gig at my old high school as the art teacher’s aide for three periods per week. I will get to assist in teaching,...
Happy 23rd Birthday, Rob! I must say, I have really enjoyed watching you grow over the years. You’re quite the impressive kid these days. Love you.
Scum of the Earth
I was listening to the radio on the way to my dental appointment today. The traffic report came on in between songs, and I half-way listened to them since the accidents mostly occur across the bay in Mobile. Well, my ears perked up when they announced heavy traffic somewhere over there due to — get this — someone leaving a box of puppies by the road. What in the hell, people?! Those...
Swooning Pretty Hard...Again
I’ve been spending a lot of time with my first love during the past couple of days. It has really reminded me of why I fell for him in the first place. He’s devoted, loyal, kind, gorgeous, and sensitive. Why did I ever abandon him? Don’t worry, Rob; my first big love was Angel on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Played by David Boreanaz, the Irish vampire had me head over heels at age...
A Dash of Nice Things
The other night, something beautiful happened. I was taking Kava out before bedtime, and we were standing in the grass next to my apartment. It was very peaceful and still, and everything smelled so fresh. She and I were both looking north, and you could begin to hear the rain coming in. Like a curtain, we watched it fall closer to us — inch by inch. All of a sudden, it fell on us. We ran...
Secret Single Behavior
Do you recall the Sex and The City episode that revealed Secret Single Behavior? You know, Carrie stacked saltines and stood in the kitchen eating them while Charlotte enjoyed peering into her magnifying mirror and examining every single pore. I can’t remember Miranda’s, and — of course — Samantha had nothing she wouldn’t do in front of a member of the opposite sex....
Can We Say "Complex?"
Last night, I was revealing why I preferred my dogs to most humans. My answers included “they’re always happy to see you,” “they always want to be with you,” “they love you no matter what,” and “they don’t run away.” I smell a divorced family and several failed relationships. Anyone else?
Pretty Pretty Princess
Allyson, Ashley, and I are a handsome group of ladies dedicated to playing Pretty Pretty Princess whenever we find ourselves together. So when Ashley came home to Alabama in between her move from Charleston to San Francisco, we donned our beads merrily. We always have a good time acting out our joys regarding the coveted crown — and our sorrows brought on by the dreaded black ring. Please,...