Apr
16
The Pregnancy Files

One thing I do enjoy about being pregnant is when I get up in the middle of the night to pee. My husband never notices when I leave the bed, but somehow always wakes up when I’m coming back. I think he believes I just stand next to the bed for hours watching him sleep like that possessed girl in Paranormal Activity. He always jumps and gasps, and I’m just like, “Hey.”

Apr
16
The Pregnancy Files

My mom: Your ass is huge!
Me:
Yeah.
My mom:
I bet you’re having a girl.

Moral:
Girls make your ass huge?

Apr
14

My husband was born exactly as he is now: an athletic show-off with sass. I love him more than I am willing to admit. Forever and ever. 💜

Apr
9
Eddy Merckx

Eddy Merckx

(Source: vickybass)

Apr
7
Apr
4

The seventh layer of hell is probably just flipping through radio stations while driving, and all channels are on commercial at the same time.

Apr
4
Apr
3
Um…the answer is actually our dog, Charlotte…

Me: You know who’s really good at catching bugs?
Rob: Snow White?

Apr
2

fwarg:

Buzzfeed is doing all these videos where Guys do their girlfriend’s makeup or guys pick out the outfits for their girlfriends. On one hand, it is pretty amusing..until it reminds me of institutionalized sexism. Not because of the clothes or the makeup itself but the fact that the men flounder so dramatically. They behave as if these “female” tasks are alien.

As a woman, I am supposed to be able to do everything. Sometimes, you forget how ingrained this is. The truth is, I can do it “all.” I can apply makeup flawlessly, I can do makeup on other people, I can sew a button or hem pants, I can put together an outfit, I can do hair, I can cook. But, I can also tie a tie or dress a male. I know how to smoke cigar, I know how to make a serious cocktail, I can jumpstart a car and I can shine shoes. I view all of these traits and abilities as useful as the next. I have put all of them to use.

And yet, applying foundation or mascara is as foreign as brain surgery to men. In another video, a man asks “Can’t all bras be strapless?” Sure, just like all boxers can be assless if you have a pair of scissors.

It isn’t even about the fact that they’re inexperienced but that they are completely ignorant—they have gone through their life purposefully with blinders. Why should it matter if a woman is doing it?

Apr
1
besound:

This makes me happy and sad all at the same time

besound:

This makes me happy and sad all at the same time

(Source: ForGIFs.com)

Mar
25
tonyrodriguezillustrator:

'Sick Dog' 15”x15”

I know this artist! We lived on the same floor during our freshman year at SCAD. He has other amazing art, but you know I favor dog themes.

tonyrodriguezillustrator:

'Sick Dog' 15”x15”

I know this artist! We lived on the same floor during our freshman year at SCAD. He has other amazing art, but you know I favor dog themes.

Mar
20
I have no idea why some wonderful Tumblr ladies are posting their prom pictures today, but I’ll jump on that bandwagon. 

Junior Prom in 2004, with my high school sweets, Douglas. We were totally broken up at the time, which was the best because we just danced with everyone. There ain’t no romance quite like non-romance.

I have no idea why some wonderful Tumblr ladies are posting their prom pictures today, but I’ll jump on that bandwagon.

Junior Prom in 2004, with my high school sweets, Douglas. We were totally broken up at the time, which was the best because we just danced with everyone. There ain’t no romance quite like non-romance.

Mar
20
Mar
18
alexieileen:

Me: You know how sometimes you get an undercooked egg and you’re kind of weird about it?
R: Yeah?
Me: But then you remember that Gaston eats five dozen raw eggs a day, and he’s roughly the size of a barge, so it’s okay?
R: Actually, yeah.

Still funny.

alexieileen:

Me: You know how sometimes you get an undercooked egg and you’re kind of weird about it?

R: Yeah?

Me: But then you remember that Gaston eats five dozen raw eggs a day, and he’s roughly the size of a barge, so it’s okay?

R: Actually, yeah.



Still funny.

Mar
16
Heading into the 15 week mark, and it’s a good mix of baby bump and fugly bloat. Forever wearing granny panties that squish my butt oddly.

Heading into the 15 week mark, and it’s a good mix of baby bump and fugly bloat. Forever wearing granny panties that squish my butt oddly.